If life had a reset button . . .

Would I push it? Being a gamer, you learn that if worse comes to worse, you can hit rest, and go back to the beginning or at least your last safe save. I wonder if my weakness in general would have caused me to hit reset. Although, through my life, I have briefly, but never seriously, thought about ending this life, the thought of re-starting this life is more of a philosophical one. If there was a way to do it all over, but retaining the knowledge I have now . . . I think it would be amusing to do it all over. But what about just restarting . . . going back to square one. Have I screwed up this life so bad that starting over with be the way to go.

Looking back there have been plenty of “mistakes” or “mis-steps” I have made in my life . . . yet I am finding more and more as I get older, those mis-steps are such a vital part of who I am today – and to be honest, I really like who I am today. (Except I would have taken better care of my teeth. That’s my advice to everyone, take good care of your teeth.) My weight, now under more control, was such a major part of my life for so long, but it some ways helped form who I am. My sexuality, the in and out and then back in and out again, although not convenient for some people, and confusing to my family, is also part of who I am. I think of the major relationships I have had in my life, and they came at the right time for me and helped me go on to the next level in my life.

I have been blessed by people in my life that truly, truly, truly, I became a better person for having crossed their paths. There have been some relationships I have screwed up, and screwed up bad – but nothing that I did maliciously, and nothing that I did single handed – sometimes two people aren’t meant to dance together. And they shouldn’t dance together.

And where I am now – personally I have a fantastic partner, great dogs, a cool son, a job I really, really enjoy – who could ask for anything more.

I don’t think I would press the reset button.